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Lately, I've been seeing the commercials where the parents tell the kids they are going to Disney world, That Day.  They tell these unsuspecting children that, within a few hours, they will be in the Happiest Place On Earth.

Yeah, I get a little teary eyed.  A little choked up.

Man how cool would that be?  What a cool story for a kid to tell their friends!

And that's when I realized I'm excited to have children with Z.  Me.  Excited.  To have kids.  Weird.

It's not that I want to 'have something to love' or have someone to take care of me.  I'm actually looking forward to having fun. 

That's what I'm thinking about now, and it makes me happy, and a little surprised.


Z and I have decided on a new contest.

He has to lose 25 lbs before March 8.  I have to lose 20.  That's not an unhealthy number.  That's 1.666666lbs a week for me.  I don't fear old habits coming back to haunt me.  I'm good.  Although my old habits will probably help me have an edge...

The stakes are high. 
1. 4 unassisted laundry done and put away upon request
2. 4 breakfast made with 12 hour request
3. Interior of vehicle cleaned upon request

This is all hard stuff.  Laundry is a lot of work, breakfast means getting up early.  Cleaning the inside of either of our cars is a CHORE. So, you can say I'm motivated!

I think we are pretty equally matched.  Hmm.... I think the announcer would sound something like this:

"Standing in the left corner, weighing in at 202 lbs is a 3 time chili cookoff champ, griller of steaks, eater of double portions beans and rice the foodie from Texas, ZOOOOOOOOLLLLLTTTTTTAAAAAANNNNN Faaaaaaaaaaabryyyyyyyy!"

"Standing in the right corner, weighing in at 139 lbs is a 7 month champion of birth control pills, 31 year old female, recovering anorexic, LIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAA BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECCCCCCCCCCCkkkkkkkkkkam!"

So you see.  I think it's equal, yeah he's a guy, yeah they have a better chance of losing weight and he's already had times where he worked out regularly and knows stuff, but he eats a lot of food.  We went to a mexican restaurant in Austin and I ordered Smoked salmon enchiladas (YUM) with no cheese and I was going to get no beans or rice but he said, NO get them!  He ate them. MUwaaahahahah!

On the other hand, I'm 31, I'm female, I'm on the pill and I work a 9-5.  

It's pretty even.  I think I'm going to win.  Crossing fingers!

It has been nice though, since we're pretty competitive I don't have to go to the gym alone anymore.  Although I went Thursday and Friday and he didn't.  I win!  Wish me luck!

It's been a good while.

I've been super busy girl lately.  Running and running and then hungover (whereas I STOP) and then running and running.  I feel like I should have some pretty toned legs by now but alas, it's not THAT kind of running.  I feel like I've always got something planned for the day and nighttimes.  This is true, especially with work.  Gah, my job makes me feel like I'm on a bustin' bronco and hanging on for dear life and just hoping no one notices that I haven't washed the makeup off and that my shoes don't match.  Yeah, that's how I feel.

And then there are days like today where I'm working at a different property out in the middle FUCKING nowhere and it takes me a minimum 1 hour to get home.  1 freaking hour to drive home.  Seriously.  I'm getting paid $.585 per mile.  However I'm not being paid for my time since I'm off the clock.  No matter which way I got it's a freaking hour.  So I'm getting paid $24 to drive to and from this place.  That's like, $12 for the hour of my time.  I get paid $16 an hour when I'm on the clock.  Why don't I just ask them if they can go ahead and just pay me for my time and not my miles?  I'm getting screwed.

Then again, the office is nice, the people are sweet.  But then I get back to my office and the 2 days I was out of the office feel like a week.  I don't have any idea what's going on.  I walk in this morning and E077 is waiting to move in and sign her lease...which I didn't prepare on Friday because I was in the middle of Santa's ass land.  I bitch but in reality I also volunteer.  Because the poor little manager who is all by himself needs the help and I'm not going to send the scary bitch Jenelle out there or Robert the gay or Noah the gruff.  I'm just not that evil. 


Yummy torta for lunch.  There is that.

*gasp* *exasperated sigh*

And then I get home and Z is all tired of school and dealing with red tape and stupid people and slow people and the people who can't keep their shit straight and a test he has in Spanish tomorrow and the projects he has to have finished in a day or two and the advisement that he went to a long time ago to be a good student and get his shit done early but sadly it was too early so they put a hold on his registration and so he had to go to advisement again just to have been their even though he had already been there. 

*deep inhale*
*dramatic exhale*

Toby threw up chunky stuff twice this morning.  That sucked.  Must have been the soap/water that he licked off of himself yesterday.  But he is learning how to roll-over!  I guess a 7 year old dog isn't old after all, if he's learning new tricks right?

Come See My Dead Person and Larry And His Flask are playing ad Rudyard's tonight but that place fucking sucks because the shows don't start until some ungodly hour like midnight or some such nonsense so you never really know what time to show up because you never really know what time the band goes on and you have no way of finding out until you get there and then you are stuck there for forever waiting for the band to go on.  All the while you could have been at your house having a much cheaper beer, a good old fashioned romp in the hay or even be studying for a Spanish test.

*i threw up from being too drunk on friday night...don't tell anyone*

Hmmm so where was I.  Had to take a moment to hug the upset boy who just realized that the spanish homework that says Due 11/11 is actually due tonight.  Kind of had a moment of school freakout.  That's what girlfriend hugs are for. 

*pondering a moment*

I already wrote and bought the card for Doreen's birthday on 11/29.  It will be mailed by moonpig.com on the 23 just to make sure it gets there ontime.  I was planning ahead for all the Happy Thanksgiving cards that will be mailed in the UK.  Yeah, it was a joke.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm a bit less smart than I think I am.  You know cause I'm dating a really smart dude.  And then I realize that I'm smart, (moon spells MOON!) just in different ways and it's nice dating someone you find mentally stimulating.  I like that.

It's funny, my typos are just slightly misspelled words, they are usually completely different words.  I was trying type british thanksgiving back up there and my hands originally typed brirthday.  odd.

I've been practicing going for a morning jog in my head lately.  I figure, if I wake up early I'll go for a slow run.  I don't run fast, not going to happen, but a slow run is better than a no run right?  So i woke up early this morning and could have gone but since I hadn't planned on it I just considered it practice. You know, visualizing your goals and all.

I was productive yesterday just as I had hoped.  Did laundry made the bed cleaned the fan cleaned the headboard space 'o' doom and found new homes for old clothes.  And we even gave the dog a bath.  Yeah, that was my Sunday.

Hands are now warmed up and I'm ready to go sit on the couch and read my book, "Fierce Invalids Home From Hot Climates".  You should try it.  S'good.

sleepy at 7:36pm



the wind is blowing hard and it sounds like it might rain.  i love the rain.

Side note

This time last year I posted a beautiful picture of San Angelo.  Still makes me happy.  Thanks H.

How long have I been sleeping?....

Watched Inception yesterday.  Kick ass movie about dreams.  I loved it. 

Had some crazy dreams. 
-Z wanted to marry me and another chick.  I said sure but was just waiting until later so I could tell him I couldn't do it.  there were two gay guys sitting at the end of the table/bed thing.  They were talking about something or other.
- Robin and I were running around Elm Grove apartments trying to get to our house, I'd been sent back in time to the late 80's.  i remember looking at my hands and there were weird calouses on my palms in a square shape with circles in them.  it was a long and complicated dream.  I knew a secret that I couldn't tell Robin.

I've still got to figure out how to make myself realize I'm dreaming.  Those two dreams were my "snooze" alarm dreams.  Only about 5-20 minutes real time but a lot longer in dream time. I remembered my deep sleep dream at my first snooze but don't remember it now.

Work's been a bit overwhelming.  Worked at a property out in the middle of Jones Rd and 1960 area.  Yuck.  Tomorrow is 45 south, about 20 miles. Not looking forward to it.  I have so much other work I have to do at my office. 

That's about all I've got.  Z is on his way home and I don't really have the energy for anything deep right now.  heh, yeah, Me deep, sure.

-swears it's self defence


Troublesome Girl

I've been causing some trouble.  And having a good time.

Can't remember the last time I posted.  A good two weeks maybe...

(taking the bra off, what the hell is it doing still hugging my body in my own house?)

So.  I finally memorized the lines, memorized the cues and did the dance.  I played Verna in a scene from Miller's Crossing for Z in one of his class productions.  It was amazing.  It was invigorating. And I was GOOD at it.  I don't have dreams of becoming an actress, I'm old and overweight (over 98lbs!). But man it was fun.  For a split second I kind of got a little turned of by my co-actor, but that was all because of the shot and the way it was played.  We did 9 takes although it felt like three.  I volunteered to be in Z's class production, 30 minutes long, not 4....it'll be fun!

...don't even stop to think.....

Z and I tend to frequent The Next Door bar on Wednesdays.  Now that cribbage was on hiatus due to Leah and Dario being in Italy.  We get a shot of tequila and a beer for $5 each.  We actually something to say to each other. We have conversations like we did when we first dated. 

We talked about how he struck out constantly with girls for about 6 months before he met me.  We talked about shitty Joe.  We talked about our histories.  The parts that we weren't involved in.  We talked about theories about life.  I loved him really hard.

Friday I went to work and then had to go to another site and work there for half the day.  Z had taken a call and wasn't going to be home till late.  I got home and called Natalie.   

....the center of a hurricane is a deadly calm...

She was free so we went to my friend Leah's house and drank a concoction that is now known as Soy Slide.  Vanilla Silk, Kaluah, espresso flavored vodka, and caramel sauce.  Good stuff.  We hung out and talked bout Wheel Of Time and L/D trip to spain and italy.

Natalie and I left to go experience more gals night and went to stopped at Catbirds.  We talked about our friendship and our boy relationships and had a blast.  Talking.  I love that girl.  She's 6 years younger than me but she's like my Houston H.  Like I have an HouH and an HumH.  I like it.  It's cute.

Z got off of work at the Miller Outdoor Theatre and came and hung out with us.  He offered his masculine side of things.  It was wonderful.

We had talked about going to the dog park this morning so when Natalie texted me around 11 to see if I still wanted to go I dragged myself out of bed and texted her that I was going to get coffee first.  She replied that Glen wasn't going to be coming and that she needed coffee.  So I grabbed her and we got coffee at Detrich's.  The dog park was awesome.  Toby didn't swim but he did make some friends and sniff a lot of landscape and butts.  We then had lunch at Onion Creek and then hung around West Alabama Ice House Chili Cook Off.  Dogs and people were everywhere. 

I took Natalie and Guy Fawks home.

Ran home and took a shower.  Make my way to HumbleTown to snatch up H and go to launderita.  The Rapper came by and had some margarita's with us.  I paid the whole tab, cause, well I can, and I love my friends.  I feel bad for TR.  He needs someone to love but he's just a ...  mess. 

We had beers and conversation on the porch at H's house.

...kills another fifth of whiskey and swears it's self defense....

He's got some work to do.  He was just so sad about life. I can't fix it...

I came home and had beers ready for Z and I started Blogging.

Z said he was jealous when I told him that I was hanging out with TR and H because he was working and my Ex got to spend time with me.  I went into a rant about how messed up TR is and how much I missed Z.

And now he's in the shower and I'm waiting listening to cory.

So sweet!

I came home to this for no reason. He was loving me pretty hard I think!


work went ok today. the whole bunch was there.  the girls and boys aren't quite getting along. the new guy has a different type of personality than they do and it's going to take some time for them all to adjust.  in the mean time i've gotten a few more leases.  three so far this week. 

we had our first real game night at work tonight.  we had all of one person show up.  so it was me and a resident playing games together.  it was actually a lot of fun!  an hour went by and i didn't even realize it. 

i'm getting a little overwhelmed. i have a lot of stuff to do at work and very little time to do it. and now i'm going to be an actor in one of Z's tv show projects.  it's going to be a scene from Miller's Crossing. Never saw it.  so i recorded myself reading the lines and i'll be listening to it in the car over and over again.  it's a 4 minute long scene and i have a 15 minute drive to work.  so that's about 12 run throughs a day, just on my commute.  shouldn't be too hard.  especialy since it's all in english.  :-)

I can't wait to feel better.  I'm getting tired of feeling congested and icky and tired. 

i made yummy diner tonight.  chicken and pasta and squash.  yum.  Z obviously hated it....it was gone in 20.6 seconds.  hee hee

tomorrow night bon fire at H's house and I'm super excited because The Artist said he'd be there.

i have to get my birth control prescription filled tomorrow as i've taken my last pill from that pack.  i really hate disrupting my lunch routine.  maybe i'll get something cool from Walgreen's..  i'm pretty sure i'll be starting my period soon and it's making me tired and fussy. 

time for a nice game of cribbage with my honey.



scaring the dog

so i'm sitting on the couch with the laptop on  my crossed legs.  i release some wind....

the cavernous area of crossed legs topped with a laptop computer made for an echoing wind...

the do sitting on the couch next to me immediately jumped down and ran to the other room to jump on the bed and escape the wind...

aha hahahahaha!

-that's so gross



Moon man
bit by bit i'm going to dismantle my sanity

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